i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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