Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
