She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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