so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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