I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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