Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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