so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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