The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
