I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
