that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
wow bdsm is so cute
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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