Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
