Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
