You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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