and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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