shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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