As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
