I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
