some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
