Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
