I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
