the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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