i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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