:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
