Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Randomize
