Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
