Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
