okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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