My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
