Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
