Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
