i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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