i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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