i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
