Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
