Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
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