Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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