goodnight i made you a song goodbye
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
