absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
