I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
