There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
