I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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