I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
