i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
