Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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