So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
