ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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