saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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