Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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