What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
