so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
