so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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