thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
