who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
