take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
they need to just BURY HIM!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
